yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i drank out of a bidet.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
