I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
