i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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