So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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