no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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