therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
