So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
