she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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