It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
