I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
