:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
tell me about the fingering
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
