the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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