I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
