you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
