Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
