You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
