I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
