There is no way he is gay with that hair.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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