spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
