Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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