He is an equal opportunity slut.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
