He is such a slut. More and more my type.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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