Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
