McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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