you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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