Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
