i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
