i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
