watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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