oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
