you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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