We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
