just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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