I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
