you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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