I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
