i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
