I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
