ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
