I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
