We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
