Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
