whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
