I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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