Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize