Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
