Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
