Just fell off a train. Bad.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
