hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
this boner is exhausting
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
