She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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