Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I queefed so loud it echoed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
