No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
