pedialite and red bull = repair kit
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
